


Home

by WhoranFeels



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Cops, Disowned, Gay, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Prostitution, coming back home, reowned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoranFeels/pseuds/WhoranFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Home is where the heart is, is it not boy?" </p><p>"But my heart is not with you, it is with my mother. You Paul, are not and will never be my father again and therefore you are not my home."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starfully](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfully/gifts).



Two years later and I'm back. Two bloody years of endless hours in dirty motel rooms with old men, and I'm back in the doorway of the house that I grew up in.

On the other side of the door was the same man I had grown up calling dad. His eyes, the same blue as mine, cold as he looked me up and down. It was as if he was searching for the physical evidence of how I lived my life the past two years.

He looked older, his hairline was receding with more streaks of gray and white and the wrinkles he had before were now deeper and more prominent. His back was slightly hunched and his knee that always bothered him when I was a kid seemed to be taking a toll on him.

He had on the same police uniform he had worn nearly every day for the last 10 years of his life. He has been working as a police officer for 21 years, but he injured his knee. When he originally got injured 10 years ago, I spent a year believing it was the aftermath of a heroic police act, but when I entered year 3, I learned it was the aftermath of his clumsiness. Ergo, he fell off a ladder. Surprisingly, because they loved him at work, they gave him a promotion which let him work behind the desk mostly.

I returned my attention from his knee, back to his eyes. "Where's mum?" My voice was cold, I don't know what he was expecting from my return but it probably was not this.

"She's in our bedroom, nowadays she likes to watch the ocean." He answered.

I cleared my throat, "may I come in?"

"Oh! Yeah! Of course!" He moved a side to welcoming me in. "I'm just on my way back to work but your mum will be glad to see you." I nodded my head and headed down. "Oh! And Niall!" I turned around to face him. "I am really glad to see you too."

I chuckled, "sure Paul." He muttered a goodbye I did not return and I was alone in the house I grew up in.

Nothing, so far, has changed since the last time I was here. To the left were three descending steps that lead to the sun room which still had the same brown and tan furniture and white walls and windows. To the right was an enclosed kitchen. A few more steps up the hall was Paul's office, toilets and the stairs that lead to all the bedrooms. In my parents room was a balcony that looked out over the ocean.

I climb up the stairs, along the walls were pictures and diplomas belonging to mum and Paul. There used to be pictures of me, but I guess my dad wasn't kidding when he said he'd burn anything that reminded anyone I used to be a part of their family.

"Little fucker." I muttered under my breath and continued to go to my parent's room.

I entered their room and there she was on the balcony. Her back was turned to the door and she sat in a rocking chair. Upon her head was a wrapped blue scarf that she wore to cover her bald head. I continued into their room, I laid my hand upon her chair, "mum."

"Oh God, Niall." I was embraced in her arms once more, a warmth I didn't think I'd ever feel again. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too mum." And I did, I truly did miss her. I missed the way her eyes would sparkle whenever she had a secret or laughed. I missed the soft touch of her skin when she held me. I missed her voice telling me it was going to be alright, even when it wasn't.

She was different though, not her soul, her soul would always remain forever strong and compassionate. She was skinny and pale and near her heart was an IV giving her whatever drug she needed to survive. There were dark bags under her eyes, it was obvious that the cancer was taking a toll on her.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened. You're dad told me and---"

I cut her off, "it's not your fault mum. I promise, I'm not upset about what happened." She could tell I was lying, she always could, I just didn't want to hurt her. "I'm going to try to leave it in the past and it'd be helpful if you tried to do the same."

"But babe---"

"Mum, I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it," I explained.

She nodded her head, agreeing to the terms. "What the fuck happened to your hair! And your face!"

"What? You don't like it?" I asked, faking hurt.

"The piercings are interesting." She gave a disgusted glare at my lip ring, septum piercing and spacers. "And the hair," I had grown my hair out and shaved the sides, the top was blue and the sides were my natural dirty blond color, at the moment I was wearing my hair is in a bun, "interesting cut."

"Is there anything you like?" I asked, now generally scared.

"I like the color of your hair." She concluded.

"Well, I like everything."

"Niall, just as long as you don't have tattoos, we'll be alright." I laughed sheepishly, "you have tattoos." I nodded, causing her to sigh. "Why?"

I shrugged, "I really don't know, as the great boy band One Direction said, "Live While We're Young!"

She chuckled at that, "honestly Niall. You never expressed interest of becoming some fucking punk before, so why now?"

I did it because people play a lot of money to fuck a punk, needy bottom, but of course I'd never tell her that. Instead I lied, "just because I could. Mum, living on the streets wasn't all bad. I could do what I wanted without worrying about what anyone else thought of me. I could just do what I wanted, for me." She hummed in response, "it was difficult mum, living here. I was someone I wasn't, and now I'm not afraid to be that person. Living on the streets made me who I am today, some of the changes are positive and others are negative." I sighed, "but as you know, it was also difficult being on the streets too, being alone sucks."

"Well son," she grabbed my hand. "You are not alone now, and you'll never be alone again. Everything, now, is going to be alright." She smiled at me and I embraced her once more in a hug. "Why don't you put your things away. Tonight for tea we're eating Chinese."

"I do love Chinese food." I agreed, "will you be alright on your own?"

"Niall, don't worry ever. I'll be fine, I always am."

I excited the room and continued down the hallway to the room that used to be mine. The bedroom was the last room on the left, it had a balcony as well that looked out to a tree. The tree held many great purposes, I used to sneak out late at night using the tree and my Romeo would climb up the tree to enter my room in the late hours of the night.

I entered the room, it was the same as how I had left it. No soul had been inside since it had been mine. The walls were still a dark green, the bed still covered in blue sheets and three white pillows and the floor was still covered in wooden tiles.

In the bottom left corner was my desk that I used to sit at everyday and used my lap top. Next to it was my mirror, my closet and a window. I opened my closet, there were still a few items inside. There was my football, a couple shirts, a couple pairs of shoes and an old laptop.

I emptied all my belongs from my bag and put them away. I am home now, it just doesn't feel like home. I pulled my hair out of it's bun and laid on my bed and slept a dreamless sleep. When I woke once more Paul was knocking on the door. "Niall, tea." I nodded my head and attempted to get out of bed.

The sun was is my eyes though and to be honest I did not want to eat dinner with one of the men I hate the most and the dying woman I love with all my being.

When I finally arrived downstairs mum was seated with a baby blue blanket around her shoulders and Paul sat there, still in his uniform, with his hands on the table.

I cautiously pulled my seat out and sat at the table, grateful I remembered to wash my face because they would not stop staring at me.

We sat in silence for another minute before I cleared my throat. Paul flinched, catching on that the staring was a little weird. "Let us pray," I rolled my eyes and ran a hand through my wavy hair. "Dear Lord," he grabbed my hand and as did my mother. "Thank you so much for the wonderful food we have on the table, thank you so much for the countless blessings we receive everyday," I scoffed inwardly. Mum has cancer and I'm the gay son they never wanted but y'know, thank the Lord! Paul continued on, "thank you for bringing me home safely from work and thank you so much for bringing Niall back home to us. In Jesus's loving name, amen."

Mum chuckled and happily clapped her hands, "let us eat."

"So, Niall." Paul started, "how's your first day back been?" His eyes were on his current task, loading tons of oily food onto his plate.

"It's been alright Paul." I answered back.

"Niall, why are addressing your father as Paul?" Mum was confused, she didn't understand why I called her mum and him Paul.

"Marianne, it's alright. Just as long as he knows that home is where the heart is, isn't it boy?" He asked.

I cleared my throat, suddenly losing my appetite. "I suppose it is, but my heart is not with you, it is with my mother. You Paul, are not and will never be my father again and therefore you are not my home." I analyzed their reaction to the words I had said, in fact, I was surprised I had said that to his face. They made no intent to move so I initiated the conversation once again, "may I be excused?"

"You have not eaten yet." Mum answered cautiously.

"I have lost my appetite."

"Let him go Marianne," Paul replied, clearly hurt at the words I said.

I nodded my head and exited the kitchen.

Fuck, I just did that.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the week was spent tiptoeing around Paul. Despite a whole seven days passing since my return home, Paul was still hurt by the words I had said. Perhaps he should learn to be more like mum. Mum and I, as always, were getting along. Mum never hated my sexuality, she just couldn't do anything to help me when dad threw me out two years ago. She always tried to understand me and how I am feeling. 

I tumbled down the stairs, just awaking from a surprisingly good night's rest. I always slept with my shirt off and I made no attempt to put on a shirt, exposing my tattoos. I sat down on one of the island stools while my mum passed me the kettle. 

"Morning Niall," she greeted. "How'd you sleep?"

"Quite well thank you," I glanced at the clock as I poured myself a cup of tea, it was 11:00.

"I need you to do me a favour." A hint of mischievous twinkled in her eye.

"Oh no, I know I'm not going to like this."

She smiled, "your dad forgot his wallet which means he has no money to pay for lunch."

"What the hell do you want me to do about it, bring him his wallet?" I asked.

"Not exactly," she continued to smile playfully. "It's a nice day outside, I think it'd be best if you brought you and your dad some lunch and ate it together."

"No, Paul can go fuck himself." I cursed.

"Niall!" She scolded. "Your words last week really hurt your father. I really want you two to get along." 

"I don't think I can forgive him mum." I answered truthfully, "I never truly got along with him before I came out and now that I know he hates me, I have no reason to try and get along with him anymore."

"Niall, your father doesn't hate you. Your father just didn't understand what it meant to be gay."

"Yeah, I'm aware." I grimaced, thinking back to the hurtful words he said when I first came out. "His words have always resonated with me, I told me 'being gay is a choice influenced by the people you hang out with and being gay is a disease and anyone who lives that lifestyle needs to go to Jesus and cleanse their soul or burn for eternity in hell.' Remember?"

"I remember Niall and he remembers and now he wants to make amends for the hurtful things he said, he wants his son back." Mum pleaded on his behalf.

"Mum, I hate him more than anything."

"I know that is a lie, you love him and you yearn for his acceptance." She concluded. "Why else would you be here?"

"I'm back home for you mum." I answered.

"Then do this for me, I want to die knowing that my two favourite people in the world don't hate each other." Her words were genuine.

I sighed, "fine, I will do this for you but just because you want me to and not because you're dying." I gave her kiss on the forehead while getting up. "Besides, you're not dying anytime soon." I don't want you to die, I need you.

I showered right away considering it was almost his lunch break.

As soon as I exited the shower I placed my contacts in. I examined my hair and came to the conclusion that it needed to be dyed again soon. The roots were starting to come in and it just wasn't looking as cute as it could. Perhaps I'd I'll try a different shade of blue or maybe I'll dye it pink or a rainbow. 

I put on my ripped jeans which I rolled up to show off my high top,black converses and slid on a pink button up short sleeve shirt which exposed all my tattoos. I wore my natural waves brushed to the front and dare I say it, I looked fucking good.

I ran downstairs and grabbed his wallet and keys off the island, "I'm going now mum! Be good!"

"Okay! Bye love! You be good too!" She shouted from whatever room she was in at that moment.

I sighed, I did not want to go whatsoever. I picked up some Thai food from across the street and drove across town to his office. I entered the building, and walked to the front desk. "Hi, I was wondering---"

"Wow, Niall, you don't remember me!" A mischievous glint sparkled in her eye.

"Janice?" I asked, confused. Janice was a girl I went to secondary school with. She had huge brown eyes and a huge mouth, in all honesty she looked like a bug-eyed, dis-proportioned rabbit. I never liked her, her big mouth was used mostly for gossip and if you told her a secret, everyone would know that secret in less then ten minutes. 

"Fuck yeah!" She exclaimed, spitting everywhere, I wiped off the spit in disgust."What the fuck have you been up to?"

"Just life." I shrugged my shoulder with the responds, I knew better then to tell the gossip girl herself one of my secrets. 

"I heard you got thrown out of your house for being gay." My eyes widen at that, why the fuck does she know that? If she knows then everyone knows. 

"Yeah, but I'm back home now." I replied bitterly.

"To be honest, I never thought you were gay." She giggled as if it was a compliment, "I had a crush on you for like the longest time."

"Yeah, too bad I'm gay." I retorted sarcastically. 

She scoffed, "is there a reason you're here?" Oops! I've upset the rabbit. 

"Yeah, my dad works here, I brought him some lunch." I answered.

"Sign in and take the visitor badge, I take it you know where to go." Her voice was cold.

"Yeah," I signed in and grabbed a badge. As soon as I walked into the office area, all eyes were on me. It had been a bit over a week since I had attention like this and I can't say that I missed it. I recognized a few lads from the previous times I'd been here, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. I continued into the room, there was an open office before I reached my dad's, thankfully, enclosed office.

I opened the door to his office, there were a few people in the office who's head snapped up in sync when they heard the door open. "Hey Niall, whatcha doing here?"

"Mum made me bring lunch, if you're not busy, I was hoping we could eat together." I was lying through my teeth in hopes that he'd be too busy to stop working. Of course the universe is not on my side.

"Yeah, course we can eat lunch together." He looked around, "give me five minutes and I'll be right out. We can eat outside on the bench if you'd like."

"Yeah sure, I'll wait for you outside." I confirmed with him and then I exited the room. Once I left all eyes were back on me. I wonder if police workers can tell, just by looking, that someone has been arrested and if they could tell what they were arrested for.

I shuddered at the idea, if they knew about what happened to me, I'd die. I finally made it to the bench outside where I began to set up the food.

"Is this for me?" I looked up to the smooth and toxic voice. The owner of the beautiful voice wasn't too bad himself, he had big brown eyes and chocolate brown hair styles in a classic quiff. His cheekbones were sharp and his dimples were to die for. 

"No, it's for my father." I replied.

"Holy shit! You're Paul Roger's infamous gay son. He he threw out didn't he, well, welcome back!" He exclaimed happily. "You're father is a hero in many peoples eye."

"Why does that make you happy?" I asked.

"Because he took you back, most parents don't take you back." He answered. "My worse fear when coming out was that my parents would throw me out since they are extremely religious." There was a pause of silence. "They didn't if you were wondering."

I smiled, "so you're gay too."

He nodded, "your father is angrily staring at me from inside his office."

I turned around and sure enough, there was Paul giving him the death glare. I laughed, and returned my attention to the boy in front of me.

"Your dad already hates me because of my job and I hate him but happen to like his cute as fuck son so I must be going if I want a chance." He pulled a white and rectangle card out of his pocket, I chuckled at him. "Here is my card, call me sometime." He smiled at me and walked away. 

I looked down at the card to see what it said. Cameron Gallagher, solicitor. "Fuck." I retorted back. Shortly after Paul came to the table. 

"Hey Paul!" I greeted. 

He hurried over, "hi Niall. I don't want you speaking to that man ever again." He scolded, sitting down and taking his box of food with him. 

I scoffed, "and why not? Because he is a solicitor?" My father hated solicitors, he believed they were the devil is disguise who got his loyal sinners free of earthly punishment.

"He is just not a good guy Niall." He answered. 

"Is it because he is gay?" 

"No! Niall, it is not because he is gay." I gave him a look of disbelief, he sighed. "I don't like his intentions." 

"And what exactly do you think his intentions are dad? I was having a conversation with a guy that just happens to be gay, like me." I explained. 

"Niall, I have something to tell you and I don't want you to be upset with me." His eyes started to glass over, I could tell he was generally worried. 

"Paul, just tell me what it is." I'm already upset with him, it cannot get any worse. 

"They know everything." He bowed his head in shame. 

I was confused, "whatcha going on about?" 

"I was upset Niall. When I found you with that boy, I didn't know what to do. I had been raised to discriminate against gays and to never accept them into you family." I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off, "let me speak Niall." He sighed, "I had a brother and his name was Andrew. My parents threw him out and severed all ties with him when they found out he was gay. I did the same with you because I wanted to make my family proud. The problem is that I missed you. 

The first year of your absence, I couldn't properly function. I wanted you back but there was a constant voice in the back of my head telling me that you didn't deserve to be apart of the family anymore. That voice was my dad's voice. It was like when I was younger and I wanted my brother, he always told me no. They told me and Andrew was a disgrace and that no one like him should ever be excepted into our family. I was too young to do anything about Andrew and to this day I don't know where he is. 

Suddenly I found myself thinking differently than my parents, and I knew I had fucked up but it was too late. I spent hours on hours searching for you using the police database and I couldn't find you." Fuck. I could tell the end of this story is not going to make me happy. 

"They found out that I was looking for you and I spilled the whole story. At the same time your mum was just diagnosed with cancer and I was going ballistic, everything in my life was a huge weight on my shoulder and I wasn't happy anymore. I began to think that you had died, many Jane Does come to the station and I was beginning to believe you had become a Jane Doe. And then we found you. 

I was so happy when we finally found you. The heaviest weight on my shoulder was gone because I knew you that you were still alive." He sighed and looked me straight in the eye, "the point is son, Cameron Gallagher is not a good man. He works for the criminals in the station, he is involved in the station's everyday drama and the station knows that you were a gay prostitute. I'm afraid he only wants you for sex." 

I scoffed in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me Paul!" I slammed my hands on the table. "This day just keeps getting better and better! First, I find out that everyone in this bloody city knows you kicked me out for being gay, second I find out that everyone thinks you're a hero for taking me back in and third I find out that the fucking police station knows I was a bloody prostitute!" I sat back down, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. 

"I came back here thinking that I was finally going to get away from the sickening lifestyle I lived. I hated myself Paul. Everyday I woke up hoping to die. I didn't want to live anymore, and despite the fact that I hate you, I couldn't help but be glad when you invited me back home. I would've come even if mum wasn't dying despite what you and mum think.

I came back because I hated the way people looked at me! I hated the permanent sign I wore that said prostitute. Believe or not Paul, I want love. You don't get love when you're a prostitute. You get used over and over again. Maybe, you'll go on a date but the outcome is always the same. They just want fucking sex. 

I came back home to find myself and to find love. I know it's stupid to get upset about something as bloody ridiculous as this, but he gave me his number and for the first time in a long time, I thought everything was going to be okay. I thought I had escaped. He didn't know all my baggage, he genuinely wanted to get to know me. It felt good to know that he wanted me and not just because he knew I'd fuck him for money. I want someone to want me for me. I hate myself for ever thinking that was possible." I sighed, "enjoy the rest of your lunch, I've lost my appetite."


End file.
